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Is my boyfriend dangerous?

I would be really glad if you could help me as I don?t know what to do. I have recently met a man with whom I fell in love. We spent a week in his house together and I observed a very strange behaviour. Anytime I touch his mobile, computer or other things he gets very stressed out. He also get stressed if I place a mug on a table without a cloaster or if I touch something in his flat with wet hands. He is worried if anyone uses his toilet. He all the time tells me: Be careful. I got very scared to touch anything. He mentioned his father was a very abusive men who used to hit and cane him. I am worried he would be the same. Is there anything I could do to help him? Could he be dangerous? Thank you for your help.


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3 thumbs up

Seem's as though he may have some perfectionist tendancies and possibly has been single for quite some time or maybe never been in a serious lasting relationship. Is he an only child? How old is this guy? As for the computer and the mobile, did you both happen to meet online? This guy obviously has issues, maybe your not the only one he is seeing cuz he doesnt know how to have a serious relationship because of his insecurities.


Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to Olivia's question
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3 thumbs up

Seem's as though he may have some perfectionist tendancies and possibly has been single for quite some time or maybe never been in a serious lasting relationship. Is he an only child? How old is this guy? As for the computer and the mobile, did you both happen to meet online? This guy obviously has issues, maybe your not the only one he is seeing cuz he doesnt know how to have a serious relationship because of his insecurities.


Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to Olivia's question
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68 thumbs up

Hello Olivia, It is likely that your boyfriend was subjected to the same treatment as a child and he is now 'acting it out.' This is a difficult question to answer, and I think it would be best to seek a qualified opinion. Perhaps you could phone a counselling service, e.g., 'Life Line' for more professional advice.

Best wishes,

Elisha


Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to Olivia's question
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17 thumbs up

Hello, thank you for your reply. He is 42 and he never been married. He has got a sister with whom he doesn´t get on either. We met through a friend who set us up together. I was wondering how could I help him rather than just leaving him with his problem, but am scared of him. What is your opinion that would be the best to do please? Thank you.


Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to barbieq807's answer
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4 thumbs up

"Subjectivity is Truth." (Soren Kierkegaard)

You neglected to say how old you are. That would make a difference in what I can say to you.

Let me remind you that you did not "fall" in love (as if something outside of you made you love this man), but you have chosen to call your feelings love. There is a difference, and partly it has to do with not giving away your powers to outside agencies (such as fate).

I am not here to do advice to the lovelorn, but to deal with psychological issues. In your case, I would say there are several, the major one being that you have let yourself in for a lot without your really knowing it. This many has, as some would say, "many issues." If his age is anything over 12 years, they are major and you will NOT (repeat: NOT) be able to change him. You will need to decide, before you go too much further with him, whether you wish to go along with all his quirks and oddness.

 If so, good luck...you will need it. If not...break it off soon. You are not obligated to tell him all the whys of breaking up. It would be enough to say that you have thought a lot about things, and have decided you do not seem to be compatible. (But be prepared...he sounds like the kind of guy who is going to want, even demand, specifics. And do it by email or phone. From what you describe, I don't see him as being very civil about the break-up, and it could get rough.  Best wishes...  -- Dr. Bob


Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to Olivia's question
Dr. Bob was invited by Ask an ePals Teacher to answer this question.

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