How can I be a perfect wife to my husband and a ...

As it seems that you may be a spiritual person, and the topics in your question relates to dating and an affair.  If that is the bottom line issue, then forgiving and forgetting would be the best action in order to move forward to the next action.  At this time, if I may, suggest 1Cor. verses 4-6 ... and requests that you show them love by being patient and kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easy to anger, and don't keep a record of wrong doings because love  protects and always trusts, it always hope and always -- love will  persevere, +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I don't think there is such a thing as a perfect mother and there is certainly no such thing as a perfect wife.

Do the best you can, listen to your family, love them and show you do. Don't be quick to judge, but learn to forgive, yourself as well. 

Love both unconditionally and you cannot go wrong.

You must love them. Love is the most important thing you can give your husband and kids. But it's not so easy as it can seem first.

Just by being urself. Your husband fell in love with you just the way you are. By being yourself then you will be the perfect wife for him. Trust him love him and talk to him.